Breathing Lessons

People should rather be elastic than just be plain static.

Eight months ago, I finally planned, decided and began living independently again, snatching a career move in the Metro after a long hiatus from a doomed dream project in the province. I had my break after passing the architect’s board. I’ve been a lucky fellow to grab a big project. But still, I want more. I know that I am embarking on a selfish move, but I longed to experiment – to do my own stuff, eat my own food, decide on my time and spend my money. My last long two-year stay in the city jungle was quite sometime when I had my exams and renovation project in Paranaque. And I could still remember spending an entire semester for a history thesis. I have already adjusted to Manila life before but not until now, I got a bit terrified! I am suddenly trapped in a varied state of abrupt unoticed change. People in my hometown said that I began to revolutionize.

Assessing from a day in my Paranaque-Makati kind of life, I didn’t changed. Not a single piece of my personality. I just lost and gained:

1. Lost some unwanted physical weight, now gained good posture and added vitality. Yes, no more prince chubby!
2. Lived a happy simple life in the province, now living a different simple life with greater spices in the Metro life.
3. Depending on my relatives before, presently learning to depend on myself.
4. Away from Dor, a bro-bestfriend – got a lot closer to Ryan.
5. Absence of Mama and Papa – currently living according to their life lessons.
6. Good old friends gone several miles – gained a lot of new friends, found long lost friends, valued my good old friends so much.
7. Most importantly many miles away from Bess – my girlfriend, much nearer to her attention, much love felt and to be given.

So I guess there’s always room for everything. I will never change. My smile won’t change. I’m still the same Rey that’s simple and has a very shallow happiness. I am looking for a life less ordinary. I got the lust for life. I still don’t know what can make me happy. Sometimes I’m happy. Mostly, I am miserable. I am learning that happiness’ isn’t a permanent thing. We find it in a simple joke, a warm smile, a remembering heart, or an interesting conversation with anyone near or far. Finding the discrepancies from my lifestyle in the past won’t be enough to tell that I am badly changing my life right now. I’m gonna change. I will choose to change.

Yes, I will change and get a lot better.